February 15, 2011

There is something about Mary(s)

Prologue

Not every chapter in one’s life has an end, like this story with no climax. This one has just characters.

When we start telling a story, or even start reading one, all of us, tend to think about the end. It is reasonable if it is fiction but probably not in real life.

Life comes to us in chapters and, more often than naught, they overlap. How often does it happen that something you felt has ended actually comes back and your past hits your present right where it hurts the most. Plug in a little Love and all this becomes a regular occurrence!

So if you are expecting a climax, it is not my inability to write it, but my theory that it doesn’t exist. After all, Life has only one climax!

All these characters may be present simultaneously in each other’s lives and affect each other every day.

I am sure if you look a little closely, you will find a lot of people who resemble my characters and whose life resemble this story!

Their chapters are overlapping now and the end is not in sight!

Instead of saying more here, I welcome all the readers to come up with their version of the climax!

Story

Character 1) Mary

Mary, a girl who attracts everyone’s attention without trying!

Mary, a girl who can be best described as Mysterious because “you think you know her, but you almost always never see the other side”!

Mary, a girl who metamorphosizes from a girl next door to a suave and svelte “chic” in a blink of an eye!

Mary, a girl who is mature yet childish and who is irritating at times yet forever adorable!

Mary, a girl who has somehow made her confusion and inability to take decisions, her most sought quality.

But this story is not about Mary. This story is about all those who like Mary.

See, Mary isn’t one single girl, Mary is a concept.

Marys are everywhere. They are the ones whom everyone likes and whom everyone wants to be in a relationship with. And, they are also the ones, who end up with the most unpredictable underdog..!

Alas! Every time a Mary goes away, another Mary walks into a man’s life. It’s a vicious cycle! And hence, we never learn a lesson.

3 types of guys like Mary, based on their nature and, more importantly, their behavior with the Mary in question. For the sake of the story, they have been named with their most distinct character trait.

Character 2) Mr. Courage-the desire for Care

He is the stud. He is the quintessential Hero.

He is a famous guy, famous for all the right reasons. He is everybody’s “go-to” guy, everybody’s favorite and cynosure of all eyes.

He is not polite with Mary but is definitely very fond of her.

He troubles her, fights with her, throws tantrums at her and yet manages to take care of her.

However, for Mary, there is another behavioral trait added to him-Anger.

Anger and love go hand in hand, mostly because of jealousy and indecision.

But for our Mr. Courage and Mary, there is a stranger source of Anger in their relationship-Care!

It is hard to care for someone who is careless about herself.

And that’s exactly what bothers Mr. Courage.

Mary is careless about herself in every possible way-her image, her choices and her preferences. Mr. Courage can’t handle that and can’t be quiet about that either.

That’s why he is called Mr. Courage because he has the guts to tell her, right in her face, that she is wrong. He doesn’t mince his words and is pretty blunt at times.

Not that Mary doesn’t approve of this or doesn’t realize his importance in her life but after a point it becomes unbearable for Mr. Courage to see Mary getting hurt so often.

Ignorance is strange. It is both an action and a reaction of the human mind. It is both a problem and a solution, though a short term one.

It is a weapon used best used by Marys of this world. They ignore whatever, whoever and whenever at their own sweet convenience.

Even our Mary, when loses the patience and courage to face him, ignores him. Mr. Courage also has to distance himself from Mary to protect himself from the pain and anguish.

While Mary ignoring him is a short term solution (or a reaction), him ignoring Mary eventually become self-destructing and requires immediate action.

Therefore his attempts aren’t very successful and he falls back to the vicious cycle of Mary damaging herself, him getting angry, trying to change her, failing in that, distancing himself, inability to take that distance and then its starts all over again!

Character 3) Mr. Attention Seeker-the desire for Time

Not white, definitely.

Not black, probably.

Grey.

Grey is the color of life. Grey defines the persona of Mr. Attention Seeker

There are two types of attention seekers, Loud and Silent. Loud ones are dubbed as cheap while the silent ones masquerade as intellectuals.

The Marys fall for the silent ones.

He is one person who lives on the extremes. He swings between being the best and the worst.

His love is different from others, his is obsession. He started off as a normal guy, friendly. But soon his other side was revealed, a side about which probably he was unaware too!

What’s surprising is that Marys acknowledged that. What you can’t achieve in passion, you can snatch in obsession.

Calling Mary gullible would be an insult to her intelligence but maybe it’s the inherent curiosity or the love for drama of the female mind, which leads them to a point of no-return with such guys.

He craved for Mary’s attention and her time. It was suffocating for him and both were well aware of that, but neither of them backed out. Whenever Mary tried to do it, his silence and his masochism dragged her back into the vortex. He manipulated her at his own will.

His silence became his most potent weapon. His silence, his sadness, his suffocation and, in one of the rare cases, Mary yielded to, well, his fakeness!

If she is with him, it’s all fine. But the moment she goes away, his drama starts. He preys on Mary’s kind-heartedness.

He sits alone in the dark as if he is the biggest loner of the world. A loner is not the one who stays secluded, but the one who feels lonely in a room filled with people. But Marys don’t get this simple definition. He calls her when she has company, makes her come out of the group and be with him. They may not even talk or may do their individual things, but still, he needs her in his vicinity. Mary not only loses her friends but also her repute. He is her Achilles Heel!

The kind of mental torture she has been subjected too because of him is unprecedented.

One wonders why a modern, educated, 21st century girl would undergo all this. Probably, because she is too nice or because she has the guilt of pushing a guy from a state of normalcy to a state of pathological obsession.

Nobody will ever know!

“Triya Charitram Purushashya bhagya; Devo na janahi kuto manushya” (Even God couldn’t understand a woman’s mind (and a man’s luck), how can a human even try!-a saying from the Vedas)

Character 4) Mr. Sheer Admirer-the desire for Utopia

He is a believer who believes in Life and embraces it, with open hands.

He believes in Love and how it triumphs all.

He believes Love is expressed-good with actions, better with words and best with silence.

He is a dreamer too.

His dreams are extremely orthodox, yet they are re-assuring of the fact that why fairy-tales can still exist, why poetry is still alive and why utopia can still be created.

In this crazy world of betrayal and break-ups, divorces and debauchery, his take on Love is as pure as dew, as refreshing as the fall breeze and as deep and profound as a woman’s heart!

And yes, he believes in Marys of this world too.

He didn’t just fall for Mary. He adores her.

There is a sense of innocence in his liking for Mary.

He is an intelligent guy, but with Mary, he is just an admirer. A fan, if you will!

His love is simple. He doesn’t necessarily want her, he wants her happiness.

While he is there to protect her from the attention seekers he doesn’t mind pushing her towards Mr. Courage too.

In some ways he resembles Mr. Courage when he wants her to make the right decisions. However, when he realizes he is not going to succeed, he doesn’t react as Mr. Courage. He quietly let her go ahead, make the mistake and then waits for her at the other end to save her from the fall. He advices her, consoles her and prepares her for the next challenge. His belief and positive attitude keeps him going and that’s his only, demand, from her too. Just keep going!

Life could be easy if someone wants it to be. Every roadblock can seem small in a larger picture. His attempts to make Mary see the larger pictures are based on his own way of leading life.

He laughs off all the tough situations life has to offer him and that’s where Mary misconstrues him. She takes his humor as carelessness and interprets someone else’s (read:Mr. Attention seeker’s) silence as intellect. Naturally, a person wants to be intellectual than careless! What she doesn’t see is the pain behind that smiling face, the silence behind that chatterbox and the loneliness in the life of a man who is never seen alone!

In the words of Mark Twain, “The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.”

He thinks someday Mary will see the larger picture; someday she could clear the cloud of self doubt and indecisiveness. And that day, he may or may not have her, but she would be happy. That smiling image of Mary, which is etched in his mind, is his Utopia!

The Dream is on!

Epilogue

This was never about a girl with 3 men in her life. That would be over-simplification of the whole idea. It wasn't about just men. I am very confident that there could be a female version of the same post, with even more characters!

These characters may not be present at the same time as well. All my male protagonists could be a single human being too, just reacting distinctly with different Marys or struggling to find their real persona after a series of failed pursuits!

However, the under-current is striking a balance between your character traits. No one is perfect.

The day we strike that balance, with the one who is meant for us, we could be as careful as want, as possessive as we want and we would have a Utopia regardless!



Vote for me now!

July 1, 2010

30 hours

Prologue

“He just wanted a heartfelt goodbye. He wanted her to wish to see him again. He believed in one thing for sure, that he was a good friend to her, may be nothing more, but definitely nothing less.“

Story

“This is the End” he thought.
“Life could not be more brutal” he told me. “We started this phase of our lives together and we are ending it together too. Is this the circle of life? Or is it just God’s mercilessness!” I had no answer. I had been there for him forever. I had seen him extremely happy for trivial reasons and extremely sad too. He was the best guy in every sense. He was intelligent, witty, funny, sensitive and what not. Only if he wouldn’t have fallen in love with this girl, he was perfect. Or at least if he would have realized that this one sided love is not going to lead him anywhere. And today I was there to see the end too.
“Would you be able to handle this? You will be alone, I would not be there to take care of you today”. I was worried. He smiled, as he always did when he was sad, and told “I have to handle it someday on my own, why not today?” I had no answer. He always left me speechless.
Oh God! Why didn’t that girl see all this?
He was not expecting much from this journey. If nothing happened in all these years, what would change in 30 hours? He had accepted the fact that she would not be his.
His Love, for once, gave up!

He had just one last wish.

He had seen how sad she was when each of their friends left. Her goodbyes were evidence of how important these people were to her. He just wanted a heartfelt goodbye. He wanted her to wish to see him again. He believed in one thing for sure, that he was a good friend to her, may be nothing more, but definitely nothing less.

“Am I wrong? Am I asking for something I shouldn’t be asking for?”He asked me before leaving. I had seen what a committed friend he was. He made sure that she was never in trouble, even for smallest of things. He never let know what pains he underwent to do all that. He didn’t want her to feel bad for him.
“You will get it” I said.

First 4 hours

It was quiet. None of them spoke anything. Just a few customary smiles exchanged. She was disturbed. The whole “leaving a Life behind ” thing had taken a toll on her. Her chirpiness, her laughter, her one-liners were missing. He was prepared for this, I guess. He didn’t say a word. How could he disturb her more? What if, in an attempt to make her feel better, he reminds her something of the life they were leaving behind, and make her sadder instead!

“Mum is the word”-he told himself. Let’s wait for some more time.
That’s what he had been doing all his life. Waiting for a perfect moment, Waiting for a perfect girl, Waiting for that girl to realize his silent love.

She was sitting by the window, staring outside grimly. This reminded him of the day when he first saw her……..

“It was the first day of college. Everyone was feeling a mix of conflicting emotions- nervousness and excitement! He entered the class and looked out, as if he was searching for one familiar face among all those strangers! And he saw her. Sitting by the window, she looked peaceful. Occasionally she would raise her right hand to set her hair behind her ear and sometimes she would smile. Her smile was innocent, honest and beautiful. That was THE moment. That was LOVE at first sight! “

A sudden jolt brought him back to reality. The train stopped, the first station had arrived. He looked at her and asked if she wanted something from the station. She shook her head in No.
Still no words exchanged.

10 hours into the journey

It was getting late in the night. He knew she doesn’t sleep so soon. She looked fresh after her nap. He was hoping for some talk. He tried to start a conversation many times but failed. Silence won.

Deafening Silence!

Suddenly she said-“Hey! Can you help me set my bed please?” He couldn’t react for a second. These were the first words from her in 10 hours. He gave her a puzzled look. She started laughing and repeated the question. He smiled back, and got up.
She was asleep on the top berth. He was still sitting on the opposite lower berth. She was facing him. She looked beautiful in her sleep. He kept on looking at her, without batting an eyelid. He had perfected this art, of looking at her, without anyone around noticing!

Next morning

18 hours had passed, more than half the journey was over. He was getting restless.
She looked at peace today. She was continuously texting and received a few calls today. There was hope!
He tried to talk again, but failed. She was busy with her phone.
She was never like this. Why was she behaving so strangely? Was she purposely ignoring him or it was more of his imagination?
But this was not imagination, this was real. She had not started a conversation in almost 20 hours now! She was the biggest “chatter-box” he ever knew. Today when he wanted her to say something, anything for that matter, she was ignoring him! After all these years of closeness, this is what he gets?
He couldn’t take this anymore. He got up and rushed out. He stood near the door and tried to divert himself by looking outside. The loud noise of the train seemed comforting now!
He stared at the sky, as if he was complaining. The monotony of the scenario took him a few months back….

“Everything is planned”, he told me excitedly. She had called him to meet her and go for a long walk. From the past few days they were spending a lot of time together. He was so happy. It is strange to see someone happy, just by being in company of “that” someone special.
He purchased a very expensive crystal necklace for her, for this special moment, as rings, he thought were too clichéd. He had a list of things she didn’t have or she hadn’t done or hadn’t seen and also a list of places she had never been to. Though it seemed a little farfetched, but he wanted to be the one who fulfills all her desires. She shouldn’t lack anything. She deserved the very best.
So a Swarovski necklace, on which she fixed her eyes six months back while passing in a mall, was first on the list!
He wanted to make everything grand, king-size. Nothing came small for him. He wanted to make his proposal so perfect, that he waited and planned for it for months. He knew what to say, where to say, only when was an unanswered question. Just one perfect moment, as if he was waiting for the stars to be lined in the sky.
Everything was planned, and I think that was the problem.
He dressed up and left to meet her. He checked his pocket for the umpteenth time to check for his gift. She was very excited and happy for some reason. She hugged him and he was taken aback by this sudden gesture. Things were going better than he planned. He was about to live his dream.

“He proposed…he did it….GOD finally” she said!
“He called today, and told how much he loved me and asked if I loved him too. I was like dude, are you kidding me! I was waiting for this moment for the past 2 years. He is so crazy, he never realized I loved him so much and it took him two years” she laughed. “ How can someone not realize that some person is in love with him/her?........

He didn’t hear a word after this. Her last sentence was ringing in his ears- How can someone not realize that some person is in love with him/her? He wanted to say-“Ask yourself!” but he didn’t. He smiled and looked deep into her eyes and left.
On his way back, he checked his pockets again, the necklace was still there. He took it out, once he was away from her sight, threw it in a bin, and continued walking.
A spontaneous call had defeated his planning and expensive gifts.

“Everything was planned, and I think that was the problem.”

Last Few Hours

Despite his past still haunting him, he was still confident about his wish. He thought he would still get that heartfelt goodbye and the acknowledgement of his presence for her in all her thick and thin.
He thought of all the time spent they spent together. There was one common thread. It was always about her. She needed him when she was happy or sad or lonely. For him it was just about being with her. He never thought of his own existence. He surrendered his identity to hers. He loved her so much that everything was about her happiness. He sacrificed his wishes and happiness at every point of this friendship for her sake. She never did that for him. And now, when she was emotionally stable and satisfied, she didn’t even feel the need to talk to him!
He realized, he was in love with the wrong girl. but nevertheless, he was still in Love.

Her station was 20 minutes away. They moved her luggage to the door and decided to stay there because of the rush. He looked at her and smiled. This was the last time he was seeing her. Based on her behavior in their last encounter, he knew she was not going to be in touch with him. The last 4 years were flashing in front of his eyes, all those moments of fun, frolic and friendship. He knew he has to live with those memories for the rest of his life. No phone numbers or addresses were exchanged, just to ruthlessly cut the last thread of connection between the two.
The train stopped, he helped her get down. Her parents had come to receive her.
He looked at her one final time. She shook hands with him and said “Bye!”.

He turned back, boarded the train again and didn’t look back.

A tear rolled down his eye. He wanted to turn back to look at her one more time, but he didn’t.

Epilogue

It’s being an year and a half since this journey. We are still best friends. He still remembers her some times.
I know what he thinks-
“No matter what happens, I will always love you - until the end of time and you will never be forgotten."
And he is right. Whatever I say or logic dictates, cannot comprehend what he feels. The dates, the time, the idea, the planning and most importantly the intentions; all these things are unforgettable...