I have struggled immensely to write this post. I gave up a
couple of times as well. But I felt a deep emotional connect with the idea and
my initial thought process as if I owed this piece to myself. What started off
as a tribute to a memento, finally became
a way of closure for a memory.
My most cherished
memento is a hand written letter from my late grandmother, from 9 years ago.
I was 18 years old then and was leaving home for the first
time to join a college, 2200 kilometers away. She suddenly
marched into our prayer room and handed me a white empty envelope. Behind the
envelope was the hand written letter. It was a hurriedly written small letter,
essentially, ruing the fact that I was going far away, asking me to take care
of my health, study well and keep in regular touch.
The contents weren't extra-ordinary that you wouldn't expect
from a grandparent. However, what made that letter so special for me was the
fact that my grandmother had been practically
blind for almost 15 years. I have distinct memories of her reading
newspapers every morning holding them less than an inch away from her eyes. I
remember her watching TV sitting barely a foot away, with her ears glued on the
screen (yes, not her eyes!). Someone with such severe disability, to put
that much effort, makes it priceless for me.
I took the letter that day, put it in my wallet and it has
stayed in every wallet I have had since then. But I didn't realize the
importance of the letter till very late even though I was always emotionally
attached to it. I believe our memories
are conditional. We can't miss even our most prized possessions everyday
owing to our hectic and roving lives. I never really "returned" back
once I left home. Those childhood memories of my home and my
grandmother were locked away and were overshadowed by the last 9 years when I
moved cities, universities, jobs and countries.
I met her twice in the last 3 years of her life and hadn't seen her for a year when she passed away. I couldn't return home for another year after that. Since I was away for so long, I never really felt how much difference her passing away had on me personally, till I returned back to her empty room.It was only then I re-lived those moments in my head, and thanks to this contest, I
realized the significance of this memento and got some closure to her memories.
She and this letter, although close to my heart and ever present, aren't a part of my daily life, I must admit. We learn to live without our near and dear ones, such is life. But I do miss her in small gestures. Like, how she wanted to add Ghee to everything , including Maggie! Or when I see my father putting his car keys everyday in front of her photo as he couldn't take her blessings for this one as he took for his previous cars. The most we all miss her when we look at the empty eyes of our grandfather who spent 68 years and 10 months married to her.
She and this letter, although close to my heart and ever present, aren't a part of my daily life, I must admit. We learn to live without our near and dear ones, such is life. But I do miss her in small gestures. Like, how she wanted to add Ghee to everything , including Maggie! Or when I see my father putting his car keys everyday in front of her photo as he couldn't take her blessings for this one as he took for his previous cars. The most we all miss her when we look at the empty eyes of our grandfather who spent 68 years and 10 months married to her.
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| The back of the envelope, she wrote on |
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| The Letter. I am addressed to as "Maan". |
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| Late Smt Kanta Devi Mathur (1927-2012) |
Suggested Blogs-
http://vishwaroopsharma.blogspot.in/
http://half-baked-thoughts-rj.blogspot.in/
http://manyyabsurdthoughts.blogspot.in/
"This post is my entry for the ‘My Most Memorable Memento’ contest conducted by My Yatra Diary travel blog and Indian Coupons."
