Showing posts with label #Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #Family. Show all posts

January 12, 2020

The Man Who Dressed In White: A Life Worth Writing About - Part II

#Amreading, #Amwriting, #Blog, #Blogging, #Family, #Fiction, #Grandfather, #Grandparents, #India, #Indian, #Inspiration, #Love, #Motivation, #NonFiction, #ShortStories,

Read Part I Here

The Man Who Dressed In White


“Nana, why do you always wear white clothes?” I asked with the energy and impatience of a 10-year-old in summer vacations. It amused me because, after all, white is not a color often associated with the profession of law. Dark coats with darker conscience, right?

He smiled while not breaking his stare at his files and did not answer. One or two of his clients, or fareek, as he called them, might have reacted with a muted laughter, but I was not going to pay any attention to them. His ignorance probably vexed me a little, but I let that go, for the time being.
Later that night, I asked my mother the same question and her answer surprised me more than the milky white clothes of my grandfather ever did.

Vakeel Saab, as Nana was called, both with respect and affection, by almost everyone outside of his immediate family, was born in a modest family. He was the oldest of the 4 sons and second of 6 children. His father got night blindness, when he was still in his thirties. Nana and his immediate younger brother, had to grow up before their time. Education was paramount but so was the sense of responsibility towards family. Their youth was spent juggling duties, personal ambitions and collective responsibilities. The folklore of people studying under candles and streetlights, in distant villages in the India of 1940s and ‘50s, to win over their circumstances with a smile and no complaints, was true here as well.

In all this, he could neither afford nor focus on his wardrobe choices. But it was still something to worry about, especially, because he was in a public profession. He chose white because he could repeat the same clothes without being noticed. The pretense and perception of well-being was significant, even then. In those days, my mother often recalled, my Nana probably had only 2 pairs of white clothes that he wore till he could.

The years of scarcity made way for a lifetime of prosperity for both the brothers. My Nana earned his Masters and Law degrees, and worked quite literally till he was conscious, while his brother went on to have an illustrious career in the US with a Doctorate in Chemistry and served as a professor at University of Florida. But the impact of those formative years remained, and both willingly followed a simple lifestyle.

The colors of the lives that followed, never overshadowed the White that had defined his roots. Men like him, truly deserve to be called, the Sons of Soil!

His white clothes were not only a reflection of his resolve and simplicity but also told the tales of a generation’s sacrifices and resolve in the face of adversities. It is them who built this nation. It is their values that we all take pride in calling “Indian family values”.

They sowed what we reap, and that is a lesson I never forget.

Epilogue

My grandfather passed away last year. Over the past year, my family and I, have talked in detail about his life and legacy. But the fundamental shortcoming of reminiscing and discussing one's legacy is that it starts from the point of them passing away. We tend to gravitate towards the world that they left behind more than the memories they created on the way!  Thus, the beautiful intricacies of their life often go unnoticed.

So, to honor his life, over the course of next few weeks, I would be posting short anecdotes signifying how I would like him to be remembered.

While these stories are personal and unique, I am sure they would resonate with a larger audience. The emotions, experiences and challenges of the Greatest Indian Generation inspire us all and we grew up listening to them. It is, therefore, my sincere hope that in the life of my grandfather, my readers would find the stories of the great patriarchs and matriarchs of their homes too.

Read Part I Here

December 27, 2019

The Undefeated: A Life Worth Writing About - Part I

The Undefeated


His walk had the enthusiasm and exuberance, uncharacteristic for an Intensive Care Unit (I.C.U). At least it felt so to the two sets of eyes that looked at him when he entered the room. Strangers walking in and out of a room in a hospital is not unusual, but his gait seemed to have disturbed the monotony that had defined the past 2.5 months for these women.


Therefore, he was received with more irritation than skepticism. Brief introductions ensued and the young man continued towards the bed.

An old and frail man laid there. Unconscious.

They could sense the familiar unease in him, that every visitor had shown, in the months gone by. Reactions of disbelief, shock, trauma and grief had become commonplace.

This could not have happened to “Him”.  “He” was indestructible, and the laws of Nature were not supposed to get to him!

The young man, initially perturbed at finding him in this situation, steadied himself and addressed the ladies.

“I am one of His assistants and was fighting a case on His behalf in the State High Court. He prepared the whole case and trained us for every eventuality. Even though he was not present at the hearings, it seemed he had played it in his mind, all along.”

He paused, looked at Him again, smiled and continued.

“And WE WON!”

The case hearing had been recorded and he had come a long way to play that for Him. He put the headphones on Him and played the recording from his phone.

His face beamed; His fist unclenched; His fingers moved; He may also have smiled a little.

And just like that, He – Advocate Shri Pratap Chandra Mathur – my grandfather – my dear Nana, while in a coma, registered another win in his name.

Till the end, he remained undefeated.

Life 1: Death 0


                            #Amreading, #Amwriting, #Blog, #Blogging, #Family, #Fiction, #Grandfather, #Grandparents, #India, #Indian, #Inspiration, #Love, #Motivation, #NonFiction, #ShortStories,



Epilogue

My grandfather passed away earlier this year. Today, December 27th, is his birthday. Over the past year, my family and I, have talked in detail about his life and legacy. But the fundamental shortcoming of reminiscing and discussing one's legacy is that it starts from the point of them passing away. We tend to gravitate towards the world that they left behind more than the memories they created on the way!  Thus, the beautiful intricacies of their life often go unnoticed.

So, to honor his life, over the course of next few weeks, I would be posting short anecdotes signifying how I would like him to be remembered.

While these stories are personal and unique, I am sure they would resonate with a larger audience. The emotions, experiences and challenges of the Greatest Indian Generation inspire us all and we grew up listening to them. It is, therefore, my sincere hope that in the life of my grandfather, my readers would find the stories of the great patriarchs and matriarchs of their homes too. 

June 16, 2019

The Fathers Who Raised Us


#Amreading, #Amwriting, #Blogchatter, #Blogging, #DadDay, #Family, #FathersDay, #HappyFathersDay, #India, #Indian, #IndvsPak, #Love, #Memories, #NonFiction, #parents,
A dedication to the fathers who raised grateful kids and build proud families. In memory of the inspirational patriarchs, weight of whose gratitude, we realize every single day!
Happy Fathers Day


Prologue

We tend to look at our childhoods from our mother’s eyes. For most of us, the attachment to the Creator comes naturally, while it needs a certain amount of growing up to really appreciate the role of our other half!
But if you grew up in the India of the 80s and the 90s, that gratitude also comes bearing the realization of how much times have changed, for the better, of course.

I am going to make a few generalizations, based on my knowledge, experiences and interpretations. Barring a few specifics, I would expect them to be applicable to vast majority of Indian middle-class households.

“The complicated joy of being a father, is traveling two roads every moment-both looking forward as I watch him grow up while glancing backward at the boy I once was.”

An Indian father in those decades, was a young man caught between two ideas of India. One was that of his parents- who had seen and overcome times of national insufficiencies that had made them naturally circumspect. The other, was his own, in which he, along with his generation, envisioned breaking the socialistic cocoon of post-colonial India and dream bigger than his parents ever did.

In a few years, in the new millennium, this man, now a father of teens, was about to be introduced to another India – global, rootless, loud, brash, brave and uncompromising. Imagine keeping up with the times when the world changes around you, so dramatically, and so many times, in a span of one-half lifetime! The paradox is akin to enjoying the calmness of Sunil Gavaskar bat for 5 days, with Kishor Kumar playing in the background, immediately followed by the shock and awe of watching an IPL Super Over to the blasting tunes of YoYo Honey Singh!

Add to this, the responsibilities of raising self-sufficient kids, building proud families, keeping up and passing on parents’ traditions, maintaining a social standing and making a professional career amongst all, and we may start to see your fathers in a new light.

The illusion of joint-families was still going strong when men of this generation became fathers. If we ever found them lacking in expressions, especially of love and affection, this was a major reason. It was not the norm to spend an entire evening with just your wife and kids; one had to pencil in time for parents and social discourse. It was also unusual to buy presents for just your children, and often, you had to entertain the other kids in the house too! And remember, the circumspect parents are still very much a part of their daily lives. So, spending money for pleasure of any kind, was frowned upon, and often loudly so.

Another aspect of parenting that often goes unnoticed is, professional lives. These men were fathers in a pre-open market and sixth pay commission era. Their monthly salaries were a mediocre 4-digits, part of which, once again, went towards joint families’ expenditures. But we still got toys, didn’t we? Also, new bags, shoes, water bottles and stationery, each school year. And somehow, there was still money left for Mathematics tuition, if needed! Thinking of your father as a magician, yet?

But finance was not the only aspect. If your fondest childhood memories of home, are with the women of your household, there was a good reason for it.  This was also a time when jobs, private or government, did not acknowledge the significance of fatherhood. Hence, there were no provisions for paternity leave, family leave or work from home. The only savior were the LTCs (leave travel concession) offered by a few employers, mostly banks, for paid family vacations. Of course, only annually though!

That generation chose jobs over careers for the most part. Partly because, their elders, belonged to a guarded society often seeking stability over ambition and they passed on that wisdom. But also, because now, as fathers and parents, they sought the same stability for their children. Hence, a transfer, even the ones that were byproducts of promotions, were perceived as the biggest career challenge, especially in the middle of a school year. A job switch was a strict no-no!

Another lesser appreciated factor is language. This generation was mostly taught in vernacular but were forced to make careers in English. They then raised a generation obsessed with, and often judgmental about, English. Once again, they found themselves caught between changing times, trying to impress their parents, peers and children, all at the same time!

Epilogue

The Indian millennial (born after 1982) fathers have the luxury of being focused on just a few things in life. Make no mistake in appreciating how this generation is changing the course of Indian history by being resolute, industrious and unbelievably aspirational. But their liberties as parents cannot be understated. The MNCs ensure that they now have both money and time to start and raise a family. Society in its traditional form does not exist anymore. Hence, the norms, expectations and obligations that it brought along, have greatly been reduced as well. The biggest factor of all, though, is parental support. Most couples now, cannot imagine starting a family, without foreseeing uprooting their parents for months at stretch, to help with the babies.  
The challenges of our fathers were not limited to their younger days. The battle is still on. Now in their sixties and seventies, they are still trying every bit to be better in their new roles- as grandparents! Trying to be more involved, more understanding, less overbearing and sharing the burden (joy!) of raising families of their children. The modern life now demands of them to be tech savvy as well.  And, boy, are they winning on that front, or what!

The doggedness, adaptation and prioritization of our fathers is something to be inspired by. Their ability to learn new things and explore new places while of reminiscing the bygone era, is astonishing.
While Mothers make homes, Fathers build families. It is in their eyes, where we celebrate our successes and mourn our losses, the most. It is the reassurance of having those eyes watching us forever, cautioning us on every step and cheering for us when no one else would, that saves us from ourselves.

May they always watch over us! Like my favorite photo below! 
Amen!   


#Amreading, #Amwriting, #Blogchatter, #Blogging, #DadDay, #Family, #FathersDay, #HappyFathersDay, #India, #Indian, #IndvsPak, #Love, #Memories, #NonFiction, #parents,



June 7, 2017

"Coming Out" of An Author - #BlogchatterEBook #BlogChatterEbookCarnival

"I am neither the first, nor the last, and definitely not the only one, to have checked this off my bucket list, but I, for one, am here to stay !"



But, before I start, first things first...


"I take on the Baton of #BlogchatterEbookCarnival from Sneha Saikumar whose Ebook "Potpourri of Emotions & Moods" is also a part of the mix.

About Sneha's Ebook: "Every living creature goes through a roller coaster of emotions in their lifetime, some that lift up your mood, some that make you happy, some that makes you sulk and feel bad about yourself. From being affectionate to happy, from being in rage to simply feel nothing there is at least twenty six emotions that we human beings for sure experience. Potpourri of Emotions & Moods is one such book which makes you experience these emotions as you travel through the pages one by one. Experience emotions through stories and experiences and many more such surprises."




#Author, #Blog, #Blogchatter, #BlogchatterEbookCarnival, #Blogging, #Book, #Ebook, #EbookCarnival, #Family, #Hindi, #Love, #Poetry, #Relationships, #writefullyyours, #Writer, #BlogChatterEbook
Fir Milenge - http://bit.ly/2rAoaXN



"Coming Out" of an Author


(A)

The best thing about writing is that it lets one be, free and fearless. It is expression without notions and prejudices as it does not fall in the defined realms and norms. It is an individual victory amongst the collective loss, that is this world.

While writing made me connect with a world of people, and took me to a deeper level of self awareness, there was still a group with which I was not open about this side of me -

my family !

I cannot pinpoint to a reason why, but in 8 years of blogging, I barely ever shared anything with them. May be subconsciously,  I liked to keep my author self cocooned to a separate entity from the being who was raised by my family.They knew I liked to write and I have a blog, but that was all of it. The only time I shared something that I wrote with them was when I gifted this poem to both my grandfathers in 2014. The launch of my Facebook page was the first time I had my family's attention to my writing. 

But the ebook release was a monumental shift in that relationship. I openly shared the launch across social media platforms and encouraged my close and extended family to read, download and share. My poems became the discussion point in my family and I received the praise and adulation like never before. Everybody, including my parents, and my in-laws, shared it proudly among their circles. Some of the reviews that I received catapulted me to Cloud 9! 
Stories like how my father sang Madhushala in his college's cultural fest and how my uncle regularly (yes, regularly) published Hindi stories in his school and college publications were discussed and it seemed "this creative gene" was in the system all along! Even suggestions to where should I submit my work were seriously given and noted. From a writer's perspective, it was quite literally, a blissful weekend.

It's out  now. Mathur saab ka beta is a writer, on the sides of being, whatever he does as his day job! It's relieving and rewarding.

This coming out, is the biggest contribution of my eBook to my life, thus far. 

(B)

Phew! I have a published #ebook now and, finally, I officially can call myself, published!

Writing for me became a passion, from just a hobby, for one and only one reason - that I found it the best mode of expression. What my pen could say, I couldn't have otherwise.

With the desire of expression, comes the need to increase the outreach. I have, and still do, desperately sought mediums and outlets to get my work out. In self analysis, I would give myself a B+ grade in that pursuit as the reasons (excuses?) of work and personal life got the better of me more than I would have liked. Regardless, I have carefully and intentionally tried to cultivate a path for me that finally leads to getting published, elevating that level in my mind as the pinnacle.

This #ebook is the biggest and the most successful attempt in my writing career towards seeing my work in a publication. This is a new reality and I am here to enjoy it and move only forward from here! 

I am neither the first, nor the last, and definitely not the only one, to have checked this off my bucket list, but I, for one, am here to stay !

UPDATE (June 10, 2017): The ebook is now listed on Goodreads. Please read and review here:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35378933


#Author, #Blog, #Blogchatter, #BlogChatterEbook, #BlogchatterEbookCarnival, #Blogging, #Book, #Ebook, #EbookCarnival, #Family, #Hindi, #Love, #Poetry, #Relationships, #writefullyyours, #Writer, Goodreads, #Goodreads




......................................................................................................................................................................

"I pass on the Baton of Blogchatter Ebook Carnival to Bushra whose Ebook "A To Z Of Pregnancy" is also a part of the mix.
About Bushra's Ebook: " A to Z of Pregnancy is the Complete Guide to a healthy Pregnancy and Childbirth. After a lot of research, I found that the Pregnancy reads available are so heavy that readers believe to be learning medical books. My motto behind writing this book is to give you knowledge in entertaining, light way. This is the handy book that covers all topics of pregnancy. In this book, I've tried to transform all the information about pregnancy and childbirth in easy to understand language. I've tried my best to keep it very accurate, to the point and added interesting facts that will increase your interest and enthusiasm as your reading progress. I've tried my best to cover the important topics and hope this book will solve all your queries, myths, confusion and nervousness about the Pregnancy and the Child Birth. The book A to Z of Pregnancy is divided into five sections according to the different phases of pregnancy. I've included many questions that come to your mind while being pregnant and after pregnancy. This book is written from my experience that I've learned from my patients. Read now to know more about this book."


#Author, #Blog, #Blogchatter, #BlogchatterEbookCarnival, #Blogging, #Book, #Ebook, #EbookCarnival, #Family, #Hindi, #Love, #Poetry, #Relationships, #writefullyyours, #Writer, #BlogChatterEbook