Thanksgiving

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

A night before Thanksgiving, I was sitting in a diner with a friend. We were talking about the American holiday and its history, which to my amusement, has absolutely no relevance to the way it is celebrated. It was a dinner between the Pilgrims and the Indians, which can probably be equated to one family welcoming another family in the neighborhood. But no one celebrates it that way now because talking to neighbors is a thing of distant past, at least in the West. It simply is a day for family re-unions and a wait for Black Friday deals! As they say, only in USA, can you be sitting with family and friends, being thankful on one day, and trampling over others for cheap electronics, the very next day!

I have always struggled with the use of the word "re-union" with respect to families. May be its the growing up with the Kauravas vs Pandavas stories, but in my mind, for a re-union, there has to be a falling apart. However, with the modern lifestyles, just being apart, calls for a re-union. Why not use the term "get together" instead?

There were 5 old men sitting on the next table. All of them were in their mid to late sixties, I guess. They looked really happy and content. Their loud  and careless laughter lit up the otherwise dull place. There were college stories, work gossip and, the obvious, wife bickering! It was anybody's guess that they were having a good time.

Quite  clearly, it was a "boys" night out, away from their families and the routine hustle bustle. A  friends' "get together" on a night before the holiday that they would essentially celebrate with their families. Again, friends before family! 

Old habits do die hard!

Then again I thought, why wouldn't they be happy! At this age also, they have the luxury of being with their friends, reminiscing about the good old days and forgetting the age woes. The occasional fun nights and the sense of togetherness, especially at that age, must be invigorating.

These are the moments, we ought to be thankful for! That is a true celebration.

Barriers...

The party had begun.

He was there, as always, the first one! They could trust him.

Finally, he had won their trust! Step 1-check!

Some thought he used to do all this to fit in. Probably, he did.

He had made every effort to make himself feel at home. He was desperate to adjust to this new culture. He had started to enjoy the cuisine too, though it was very different from his native one. Effort, some more effort, and I will be a part of them, he used to tell himself. His efforts were genuine and he honestly enjoyed their company and was eager to learn about their traditions. Sometimes, he would vouch for their viewpoint even in their absence, among his own peers.

Progress

Why was he so desperate?

At first it was forced and unavoidable circumstances that pushed him to an unknown territory. But later it turned into an experience. Spending your life with people who have been brought up in a culture alien to him was exciting. Of course, since he was the “different” one, he had to make the efforts.

But language, his biggest nemesis! The people were very nice and they never let him feel like an outcast. They made the process easy. He started to pick some words here and there, and like a two year old trying to speak his first words, he tried to make some sense. Most of the times he didn’t, but he kept trying! He would try to jump in some conversations hoping he wouldn’t make a fool of himself. Well, only sometimes he didn’t!

The party had started to gain momentum. Drinks were being served and there was light music. He was with his gang!

Yes, it was his gang! Step 2-check!

He looked around in a moment of solitude. There were happy and smiling faces. There was fun, frolic and laughter. He didn’t understand why were they laughing but he smiled in his own space. Language is significant. It’s one’s pride and identity. But for an outsider, it sure is a hindrance! Culture, cuisine and traditions are easy, language is a big one! How is one supposed to be a part of someone else’s life if he can’t understand them 90% of the time? In happier times, it goes unnoticed. It’s the times when you want someone close to you or you want to be close to the people you care about where this becomes suffocating.

Fitting in-it’s all an illusion, a big and dreadful illusion!

He realized he might not fit in, forever, but he enjoyed the illusion.

Somebody called his name and asked why was he away and what was he thinking? Other one pointed at a girl and winked! He laughed and showed the beer he was carrying towards them!

It seemed as if the illusion survived one more night!

Until…

They started another conversation in their language and he missed every bit of it!

Barriers, damn barriers, he thought, still a long way to go!