10 Reasons Why Arvind Kejriwal Must Lose

"I just need my muffler back, and then off I go- The return of the Mufflerman"
Source - The Hindu

I had been in India for only 10 days, when on December 8, 2013, Arvind Kejriwal's Aam Admi Party (AAP) swept the Delhi's Assembly Elections. It was only over an year ago, but it now seems like a different time and age. The time when we, the commoner, the real  aam admi, felt empowered, emboldened and capable of bringing a change that was long overdue. Even though it was the catch phrase of "the messiah", the one who shouldn't be disregarded on the sacred space of the internet, it felt as if the "acche din", would be brought to us by Kejriwal. The image of my domestic help, a young Bengali migrant in Rajasthan, being excited and hopeful for a Delhi Assembly election, is a hard one to forget. 

However, we are in a different time now and things have changed, for the better, we have been told. 

And this time, Arvind Kejriwal must lose. It doesn't matter who wins but that muffler wearing, influenza spreading, hatch-back driving, Naxal socialist shouldn't come back to power.  It's not that he can't win, it's just that he shouldn't. Period.

And here's why -

1) We prefer democratically elected MPs who enter our private matters to the extent of asking  us to have 10 kids, rather than the ones who ask us to read bills and ordinances. In other words, we would rather have them do our family planning than us play an active role in deciding country's policies.

2) We do not want to think how the national parties manage to afford full page advertisements in all the national dailies, on a regular basis. Or how would a news outlet be fair in reporting, if it has sold even  the mast head to a political party for campaigning. We just do not want to think about it.

3) We cannot see our dynasties fall. We have a rich history of rulers and being ruled. We would like to keep it that way, please!

4) We do not fret about re-electing MPs with serious criminal records, including murder and rape, but would definitely probe the ulterior motives of every candidate who is educated and who should rather be in USA making millions than toil in the rural areas trying to bring a change.

5) We would still rally behind a candidate who has not only switched her political stance twice in two years, but has also retracted her most well known folklore of towing a PM's car. She, being an icon of an independent woman,  has also endorsed the organization that thinks women get raped because they wear jeans. However, as very mature voters, we should look beyond this, towards the abyss that is going to be her political career! But she is so educated that she will go back lecturing in Harvard and Oxford, like she gives a damn!

6) We look at a chaiwalla, meeting, greeting and hugging Obama and bhabhi ji, wearing a "signature-d" suit, worth millions, and we roll in pride of a rags to riches story. It makes a perfect recipe for a Bollywood potboiler - great spectacle with little or no substance.  And what is politics, if not a spectacle! Quite simply, we like the pomp and show, and you got to flaunt it, even if you don't have it or don't want to! Simplicity has no place in the politics of a poor and developing country.

7) We have a censor board for movies. We can't celebrate Valentine's day.  We can't laugh at or poke fun at the "you-know-who" on any public forum on the internet. We can't use the word "Bombay" even in songs and now we can't laugh in or at a You Tube video.  A woman editor of an Urdu daily is in hiding and a Tamil literary laureate has given up writing. Yet, the discussion shall remain how Deepika Padukone flaunted at a party! This is the way it has always been and this is the way it shall remain.

8) We want the black money back.  But only if a certain political party gets it for us.  If anyone else talks about it, they are either not sincere or lying. And if that party totally ignores it, once they win the election, campaigning for it, we are fine with it. Yes, we are!

9) Despite being a country, which is famous for excelling in computers and technology, we have decided to completely ignore the fact that memes, internet trolls and funny internet videos are used as a device for propaganda and , in no way, are a measure of a person's popularity. We still form an opinion by how a candidate is depicted on social media, by anonymous people spewing hatred.

It's trending! Also, it's paid!
Source @babaglocal on Twitter

10) We have a short memory. Not just weak, we are talking, like Ghajini short.  So we have already forgotten how many points were promised in the beginning of this article. Just like how many things were promised in manifestos in 2014.

But we shall never forget how Arvind Kejriwal betrayed the trust of the people by not yielding and resigning in just 49 days.

Never.

P.S. Somewhere I know, this discussion would turn communal and party-specific. Consider that a bonus point # 11 !

Suggested Reading -

About Shireen Dalvi - The Silenced Urdu Editor
About Perumal Murugan - The Tamil Literary Laureate