March 11, 2012

The Paradox

Sitting alone in my room, I fight with rational and irrational fear.

Fear of failure. Fear of future. Fear of the next moment. I feel weak and low.

The darkness of the night overtakes me as alcohol mingles with my blood.

Facing crossroads of life, I am confused which path to take.

My dreams parting from me, as does the smoke of this cigarette and the visibility of the invisibility is visible to me.

The difference between right and wrong seems diminishing and the answer itself becomes a question.

Struggling against hopeless odds and seeking help from the ideals of sadism, I feel like a dying man who asks death for long life.

I don’t know what went wrong, don’t know why it went wrong and don’t even know when it went wrong, but the certainty of uncertainty surrounds every move.

And here I exist, in this non-existent world, experiencing completeness of incompleteness and the only things I know are the surety of being unsure, reality of virtuality and the success of failure.


This is the second of the 2 posts that I decided to re-publish from my brother Abhinav’s collection. Once again, thank you brother for passing these onto me as your legacy.

The first post is here---> Iceberg



  1. There is a paradox of emotions in this post. Most of us when faced to dilemmas ask such questions. We are confused as we look on the uncertain side of life. More so, when life and death are weaved together.

    It's a very emotional post!

  2. Its true and so very true.. Beautifully crafted..!!



Now, it is time to be honest !